Forging Strength from Struggle: 10 Life and Business Lessons from Ashley Cain

You know those talks that just… hit you? The ones that grab you by the heart, shake you up, and leave you feeling utterly inspired, even if you’ve shed a tear or twenty? That’s exactly what it was like at a recent Gold Circle event when Adam Stott introduced Ashley Cain. The room was captivated. It was one of those raw, emotional, yet incredibly motivating experiences that genuinely sticks with you.

For me, it felt like Ashley was speaking directly to my soul, sharing a blueprint for resilience that felt both superhuman and deeply familiar. His story isn't just about fame or fortitude; it's a profound masterclass in navigating life's brutal challenges and finding profound strength in the wreckage. This is about exploring the powerful lessons from his journey and how they apply to the universal struggles of entrepreneurship, purpose, and life itself.

1. The Foundation of Fortitude: Use Adversity as Fuel

Many know Ashley Cain as a professional footballer or a reality TV star, but his journey began in the trenches of adversity. He spoke of attending a special measures school as the only person of colour, facing racial hate and violence daily. He had to wear trainers to school, not for sport, but to be ready to run and escape threats at a moment’s notice. “And that’s how I started my life,” he explained. This early reality didn't break him; it instilled a fierce, almost unshakable belief in himself. He channelled that survival energy into sport, becoming a top-ranked sprinter and playing academy football for his country. Adversity became his fuel.

Hearing him speak, I felt a pang of recognition deep in my gut. While I was thankfully spared the daily physical threats Ashley faced, I intimately understand the feeling of being an outsider. As the only Asian girl in my class, I was "different." I was called names that stick with you, and I remember a boy pushing me over a hedge simply because I stood out. It planted a seed of needing to be resilient and to develop a "by any means necessary" attitude to find my place. That same fire fuelled my pivot from a safe corporate career to building The SaVVy Club, and later, to becoming the Gemstone Detective—a path filled with its own uphill battles against self-doubt and the fear of not being enough.

2. Redefine Failure: How Setbacks Can Forge a New Path

Ashley's dream of a professional football career was shattered by a series of devastating injuries, culminating in six operations by the age of 23. In an instant, his identity was gone. He went from being an elite athlete to being broke on his sofa, losing his house, his car, and his career prospects. It was a crushing, defining setback. But it was in that rock-bottom moment that he forged a core belief that would carry him through even greater challenges. With powerful conviction, he told us: “What happens to you in life will never, ever define you. What you choose to do about it will.”

That philosophy resonates deeply. As entrepreneurs, we all face moments that feel like the end of the world. For me, that moment came when I discovered I’d been conned into buying a fake ruby in Egypt. It wasn't just about the financial loss; it was the sting of betrayal and the blow to my confidence. That setback could have made me retreat, but instead, I made a choice. I refused to let it define me as a victim. That experience lit a fire, propelling me to get formally trained at the GIA and become a qualified gemmologist at 47—a complete reinvention born from a single, painful setback.

3. Find Your Purpose: The Power of a Deeper "Why"

After his football career ended, Ashley navigated the worlds of reality TV and global DJing. But amid the whirlwind of clubs and appearances, he felt a profound emptiness. He described pulling up to the gym one day and breaking down in tears, unable to remember where the last five years of his life had gone. It was a candid admission of feeling lost, even while projecting an image of success. His true purpose, he explained, arrived with the birth of his daughter, Azaylia. He was clear: his story "didn't start before" her. She became the absolute centre of his universe, giving him a "why" that transcended any superficial achievement.

4. Create a Legacy: Turning Unimaginable Pain into a Powerful Mission

Then, the unimaginable happened. Azaylia was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukaemia. Ashley’s life became a blur of hospital floors and the visceral pain of watching his child fight for her life. The hope he clung to eventually shifted from her survival to a single, heartbreaking prayer: that his daughter would die peacefully in his arms. The courage it takes to articulate such a profound and personal agony is astounding. Yet, from this devastating loss, an extraordinary legacy was born. Ashley made a promise to his daughter that he would carry her name across the world, “to the top of every mountain, to the bottom of every valley.” He has kept that promise, embarking on extreme ultra-endurance challenges and raising millions for children with cancer. He learned from his daughter’s strength that “through your darkest times, you can create someone else’s brightest moments.”

5. Confront Your Demons: A Masterclass in Mental Strength

Even in his mission, the weight of grief became immense. Ashley shared a moment of breathtaking vulnerability when, after achieving incredible physical feats in Azaylia's name, he found himself on a bridge, contemplating suicide. He was pulled back from the brink by a chance encounter with police. It was a stark reminder that even the strongest among us face internal battles. His response was not to retreat, but to attack his fears head-on. He got his skydiving licence to face his fear of heights, wanting to tell his daughter he loved her from "the closest place to heaven I can get to." It was a profound act of turning despair into defiant strength. This resonates with my own solo travels, where trekking through challenging terrains became a way to confront my fears and find a connection to something bigger than myself.

6. Love the Journey: The Mindset of an Olympian, Ashley Cain

Ashley’s philosophy is now built on loving the journey, not just the destination. He attributes his incredible strength not to resilience or courage, but to love. "I just got a big heart, and I love what I do and the reason why I’m doing it," he stated. "Forcing something is f***ing hard work." This is the secret sauce. His current goal—to train for the Winter Olympics at 40—isn't about the medal; it’s about "who I’m going to become on the way." It’s an approach fuelled by passion. It’s exactly how I feel about my work as the Gemstone Detective. It isn’t just about jewellery; it’s about protecting people and sharing the wonder of gemmology. It’s a mission driven by love for the process.

7. Protect Your Energy: Drawing a Line with Toxic People

With characteristic directness, Ashley offered an unflinching lesson on dealing with negativity. He has faced thousands of hateful comments and accusations from people trying to sabotage his charity work and businesses. His message was clear: if people in your life are casting shadows on your dreams, they don’t belong on the journey. “If you are passionate about what you do, you're a good person with a good heart and you're doing what you're doing for the right reasons, and someone is trying to slow that process down, sorry they don't get no time in your life." This is a powerful reminder for any entrepreneur: protecting your purpose and energy is not harsh; it's essential for survival and success.

8. Master Communication: The Art of Unbiased Listening

One of the most profound lessons came from Ashley’s documentary work in some of the world's most hostile environments. He spoke of sitting with cartel leaders and illegal gold miners, not to judge, but to listen and understand. He recounted interviewing a dangerous man in a favela. Instead of asking about his violent acts, Ashley asked a different question: “When you look in the mirror, who do you f***ing see?” The man broke down, finally feeling seen for the person behind the persona. This art of unbiased listening is a masterclass in communication, reminding us that every person has a story and a fundamental need to be truly heard.

9. Demolish Your Barriers: Adopt a "No-Limits" Mentality

Ashley’s closing message was a battle cry for anyone with a goal. “My life became simple,” he said. "Top every mountain, bottom of every valley… anything that gets in the way of that goes. Any hurdle, I’ll jump. Any wall, I’ll smash through. No barriers." This isn't just motivation; it's a simple, powerful operating system for achievement. It’s about defining your goal and then ruthlessly eliminating anything that hinders your progress. It’s the ultimate entrepreneurial mindset for turning vision into reality.

10. Build Your "CV for the Pearly Gates"

Ultimately, Ashley’s journey teaches us that life isn't about avoiding the tough times, but about using them to forge who we are—to build a "CV that we can be proud of" when we reach those "pearly gates." He looks forward to the challenges because he knows that’s where character is built and legacies are made. His story is a powerful beacon, reminding us that with gratitude, resilience, and a purpose fuelled by love, we can transform our deepest pain into our most profound strength. And just like Ashley, my solo travels taught me that if you can face your fears in unfamiliar territories, no boardroom or personal setback will ever seem insurmountable again.

What's Your Story?

Ashley Cain's journey is a testament to the power of the human spirit. We all face mountains and valleys in our lives and careers. What has been the biggest challenge you've overcome, and what did it teach you? Share your story in the comments below—let's inspire each other.

Kim Rix GG GIA

Gemstone Detective